Sunday 14 September 2008

flying back to LA tomorrow evening after spending an awesome 10 days on the east coast. took a trip across the river into jersey on thursday to catch up with uncle gordon and everyone there who i hadn't seen in years and years. had a great time just catching up and chilling out. i tried chewing/spitting tobacco. it was lime flavoured. it also gave me a massive buzz, but after about 10minutes i had to cut it loose for fear of my head blowing clean off my shoulders. whether it catches on in england is a different story. although we seem to have accepted drive-thru fast food so there could be hope for it yet.

while i was there i saw 'burn after reading' which is ok, i'll have to see it again when i get back because the projector was on the fritz and stopped for a couple of minutes midway through. but you get what you pay for when it's only 7 bucks i guess. after that we went to a byob (bring your own bottles) italian restaurant. i opted for the chicked parmagiani, it was pretty tasty. although the portion size was basically a whole chicken. safe to say that none of us finished our meals so we boxed it up and took it on our way. post meal we went to a bar to see a band called 'contraband'. don't let the name fool you, these guys are nice and legal. they also played an array of covers at a great level. they cranked out some barry white and dire straits. i think even some outkast was thrown in there too. they don't have a drummer so they have all that stuff on backing track, but the two guys play sax and trombone. which is cool.

got back into nyc saturday afternoon, and then attempted to get really drunk. my attempt has since been deemed successful by a panel of international judges, the polish were hesitant to give me the a-ok, but i think they changed their minds at around 3am eastern standard time. that victory has meant that today has been a complete write off. we ordered in breakfast (a cheeseburger), and ordered in tea (pad thai). i made the executive decision to watch love actually, mainly for the hugh grant factor. i stand by my convictions, that man is a genius. him and tim henman should do something together. just think of the potential.

and on that bombshell, bye.

Thursday 11 September 2008

last night i went for steak at this place called 'the palm', which is like this old school steakhouse. it was immense. i got the new york strip, and if you can imagine heaven (or somewhere else that you love) in a piece of dead, half-cooked cow then you can get a sense of how good it was. before that we went for drinks at this hotel bar called whiskey blue. i had an 'ultimate mojito' in honour of theo walcott and it was fontostique.

new york is amazing. if i don't live in manhattan at some point then i'll probably fail at life. there is lots to do and lots to see, and so far i haven't done and/or seen enough. i bought some tshirts from the store owned by the lady who worked for sex and the city, pat fields. they're pretty good if i do say so myself. one of them is green and says 'yep!' and 'nope!' on it. i think you'll agree from that poetic description that all in all it's pretty bitchin'.

batman at the imax was sweet as. the fact that it was at the imax doesn't really make much difference. it doesn't mean the film is any different, it just means the screen in mahoosive.

right now i should actually be on a plane back to LA, but because i'm hxc (hardcore) i'm not. take that virgin america! so i'm heading back to LA on monday and should be there mid-afternoon. the tickets cost me 85quid, which is about the same price as a pair of levis. i wish i could pay them in denim, sadly i don't think it's allowed here. land of the free my ass.

in other news, a policeman in massachusetts bought a cat back to life by performing mouth to mouth. and a woman in ohio, called china, killed her baby by putting it in the microwave. only in america.

Monday 8 September 2008

photo's photo's photo's

lots of photos so sorry if it takes ages to load.

the hollywood bowl...




las vegas by night. weird and wonderful. and yes, that one egg does indeed have three yolks.




clint dempsey has his own bus...


vegas by day.







everything you need to know about vegas is summed up in the next photo.



still in new york right now and loving it. going to see batman at the imax tonight. every time we've tried to go it's been all booked up, so we got wise and booked ourselves some tickets. booyah.

also, bought some tshirts and almost bought some grey patent (shiny) leather shoes, trust - they are so sweet, but they're pretty damn expensivo so we'll have to see.

conan is on right now, he's funny. and he used to write for the simpsons. true story.

ps - i read all my posts so far today and there are some terrible grammar/spelling mistakes. not too spiffy for someone with a degree in english language is it? in my defence i am typing like a demon because i don't have much time. so there you go. oh, and i'll try and do some postcards soon, if i remember...

Thursday 4 September 2008

to recap: i am now in New York for one week. fly back to LA on September 11th. and i'm in New York, and i'm probably going to go see ground zero. there is irony in there somewhere. i find if you say those three components slowly and point in random directions with a weird smile on your face it tends to get the massage across.

the time difference has changed so i'm now 5 hours behind england. it was weird flying here because whilst i was flying in real physical time, i was also flying forward through time. so i was in two places at once, but they were the same place at same but also different times. it's crazy i know. i try not to think about it too much.

ANYWAY...

let's talk Vegas.

i didn't realise that the actual advert for Vegas is "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". i had heard the expression before (thank you The O.C.) but thought it was just something they came up with. silly me, i should've known better. so yeah, i purchased what i thought was a train ticket there through amtrak. i later found out that the LA to LV train does not exist and i was to be bussing it. no biggie.

when i first got on the bus at union station i had a seat to myself AND it was air conditioned. jackpot. however, this was not to be the case for much longer. we made a stop in el monte (a town by arcadia) and the person behind me (who we'll call Richard) decided to get off. i thought "go ahead old boy, you do what you want. this is the land of the free after all". in meantime, we picked up some strays in el monte. one of these being a big fat mexican woman (who we'll call Judy). Judy decided to sit in Richard's seat, but because she was so fat, and maybe because of her Mexican blood, she took up two seats instead. Upon Richard's return he obviously had nowhere to sit and asked me if he sit in the spare one next to me. I responded "go ahead old boy, you do want you want. this is the land of the free after all", or words to the effect.

all was quiet on the western front, until we got to about 100miles outside of Vegas, where things toook a turn to the strange. until then, no words between Richard and myself had been exchanged, maybe the odd grazing of the arm or two, but only everso often. and even when this happened nothing was said, no sign of apology from either camp. so, 100miles outside Vegas Richard starts to become rather animated, gasping and pointing out the window, "go ahead old boy" i thought, "you do want you want. this is the land of the free after all". big mistake. this only encouraged him. his pointing and gasping turned into poking me in the ribs, stroking my arm, and even more disturbingly (if possible), growling like a dog. for real. i humoured him for a while by agreeing that the same sight of the same desert that we'd been looking at out of the same window on the same bus for the last 4hours was rather exciting. perhaps if he was going through the same weird time/parallel-universe-but-not-really event as i was on my flight earlier then i could've maybe let him get away with it. but he wasn't. i wasn't. nobody was. this continued for the next 100miles. he even began doing the same pokey/touchey/growley routine for someone else across the aisle. not once did jealousy cross my mind though, after all this is the land of the free, he can do what he wants. Or so he may think. a few miles from Vegas someone complained to 'the man', and the man had a not so quiet word over the p.a. and told him in no uncertain terms to "leave people alone, and be quiet". it was a small and dignified victory, but a victory nonetheless.

i stayed at the rio which is just to the west of caesars palace and the bellagio. we had our own casino and all that jazz. i sauntered over the road to try the tables at a few others but with no luck. i had my best time at the roulette tables at the rio. on the last night, i turned a measely $20 into a manly $180. most of which has now been given to goodwill aka, me, aka, my liver, aka, the las vegas drainage department. great time had by all. the pool area was split into three sections at the rio 1)childrens 2)everyone 3)adult. i rocked the everyone pool for a few days and slowly made my way up to aduly, which you had to pay for. still debating whether it was worth it, but i'll always have the memories (/paris. anyone?).

the bus home was fairly uneventful, i sat at the window seat and had an old chinese woman for company. finished my book, and for some reason, listened to a somewhat eclectic mix of dj shadow, hondo maclean, and coldplay. don't ask me why, it is what it is. when we stopped at barstow for lunch/breakfast i saw the funniest thing in my life and just wish i had my camera on me at the time. there was a small group of chinesers on my bus who happened to be all standing together in a team huddle, perhaps they were practising military drills or gymnastic formations, i don't know. what i do know is that they were standing by a sign saying 'handmade gifts: oriental style'. best thing ever?! can i get an amen?!

i have loads of photos to put up but i'll do a seperate post with all the choice cuts for your viewing pleasure

there is also loads of other things that have happened to me but i have to go out to bex's mate's birthday dinner and don't have the time.

peace!

Wednesday 3 September 2008

just back into LA from Vegas with all my limbs intact and something reminiscent of a bank balance. so all is well. somehow i have sunburn on my shins though.

big update with sights, of all kinds, from Vegas when i have time. some great stories to tell too.

NYC tomorrow, rock out.

Friday 29 August 2008

i know i promised photos in the last blog, but i realllllllllly can't be bothered to go and get my camera and then upload, rotate, insert, move, cook, copy, paste them into here. besides, im sure you know what the Hollywood sign looks like. you don't need my disgraceful attempt at capturing it on digital celluloid.

So the other day i went to see jimmy kimmel being filmed in Hollywood. he has a chat show and he's a pretty funny dude. he did this video blog from china about the Olympics, but instead of actually going all the way over there, he took the bus into Chinatown and interviewed these school kids about gymnastics and how they made everyone in China proud. He had two guests on and one of them was Maurice Greene (two time Olympic gold medalist and worlds fastest man for six years) and made a joke about black people running from the police. In essence - he's a funny man.\

i couldn't get my england mobile unlocked so i have to keep hold of my cutting edge motorola. i worked out the reason for my main hatred for it and that is that the space button is on the other side (on the star key) - which if you think about it is easier for leftys, of which i am not.

at the moment i'm in Arcadia which is a suburb of LA for a little bit and last night i went to see 'Hamlet 2' which has Steve Coogan in it, innit. if you like Coogan, you'll love it. Hence, i loved it. He also has a fairly good American accent. You can still tell it's him and/or Partridge though, which is no bad thing. i need to do more cinema-ing because i still need to see wall:e and tropic thunder (to see what all the fuss is aboot, some Americans are offended by it because it makes fun of disableds. they don't know shit.)

i finally had an actual breakfast today, it consisted of good old fashioned cereal, but with a new twist. it was called koala crisp and was little bits of shredded koala and you just dip in ketchup or tabasco or whatever. i opted for ketchup because by my logic you have sausages and you can have ketchup with them and i was told told koala is quite sausagey. they didn't lie. either that, or it's like coco pops and the milk turned chocolatey. you choose whatever version works for you and just run with it. but yesterday i actually did eat some buffalo, in one. it was a tasty beast. the cowboys weren't wrong when they nearly made them extinct.

one bit of sad news to break to you - Dr Dre's kid was found dead the other day. I was listening to Dre when i found out. that's what you call living the dream, forget all this American dream rubbish. Walking down Sunset with Dre pumpin' on the ipod is what it's all about.

on wednesday i did a bus tour around all the sights and got some good photos which i'll put up at the end of this blog. i know earlier i said i couldn't be bothered to get my camera but i got my bother-on and have my camera connected to the computer. that's stream of consciousness for you, eat it and like it james joyce, eat it and like it. anyway, the bus ride was ok, but i was hungover from this drink called 'jungle juice', which is probably the worst drink known to man. i has loads of chopped fruit bits in it so when you take a drink it feels like sick going the wrong way down your throat. but it was only $3 a glass. pain for pleasure. in America they don't have the pound sterling sign on their computer keyboards, instead they have this - #. what would the queen say? i think they need to remember that if it wasn't for us, they wouldn't even be here (a point i made the other day when there was lots of england bashing going on).

moving on, yesterday i walked around LA got about 5 hours. huuuuuuuuge mistake. and i wore a light blue tshirt. i got my calculations wrong and basically looked like i had been swimming, but on in certain bits of my tshirt. it was so rough. and i han't showered that morning having slept in a room with 7 other people with no air con. i was the physical embodiment of hell.

on my walk i took in melrose ave. which is so sweet. it's like all the good places in LDN only in the sun and on one street. if you can't buy clothes on melrose then you should stfu and gtfo, for real.

i think its high time i wrapped this up in one word, bye.

oh, i went to the Hollywood bowl on Wednesday too, but that's another story for another day.







Wednesday 27 August 2008

Don't Forget To Read The Small Print In Your Conetract

At the moment i'm living in hollywood in this hostel. Met some cool people who share a hatred of buildings (like the one in which are) that have no air conditioning. It's frekin' hot out here and the least we need in a/c and cold beer. And we only have one those. Disgusting. You wouldn't send your worst enemy here. (It's not that bad, that last bit was for dramatic effect).

Tomorry, i'm giong to the beach to tan and chill out. My arms, legs, and fizzace are brizzown. Everything else is white. Then i'm moving to a friends in Arcadia for a few days and then Vegas baby! In other news, i booked flights to New York so i leave for there next thursday (4th Sept) for a week. Gonna hit up some sights and go back to actual weather. Everyday is the same in Hollywood and i need something new.

Oh, i forgot to mention that when I was at my first downtown hotel (the biltmore) they closed the bar and lobby down because they were filming the FOX series 'Dollhouse' with Eliza Dushku. She was the one from 'Bring It On'. We've all seen that film. Don't judge me.

There's probably some things that i've seen and neglected to mention. But i have most of them noted in my moleskine and i'm sure that they will see the light of the internet soon enough.

Next time there will be photo's of stuff. Maybe one of the Hollywood sign and a crucifix. If you're lucky.